1 00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:09,293 New year, new us. 2 00:00:09,326 --> 00:00:11,795 I've arranged to get the Vermont gang back together. 3 00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:13,046 Are Gary and Meg gonna be there? 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,048 Terry, girl, we did it. 5 00:00:15,082 --> 00:00:16,717 You famously fictionalized 6 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,510 your difficult relationship with your mother. 7 00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:20,470 I can barely show my face 8 00:00:20,504 --> 00:00:22,139 at Wine Club Wednesday. 9 00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,182 Your mother needs her Wine Club Wednesdays. 10 00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:25,250 That's not a stretch. 11 00:00:25,284 --> 00:00:27,853 Your mother was protecting you from your father. 12 00:00:27,886 --> 00:00:30,147 You are, without a doubt, your father's son. 13 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,983 I would rather die a six-inch death 14 00:00:33,016 --> 00:00:36,528 than see Les win a fucking Nobel. 15 00:00:36,562 --> 00:00:39,990 Hilton is going to sell the tech to the military. 16 00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,159 We can't be party to that. 17 00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:44,036 Let's finish what we started. 18 00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:46,246 Limitless stabilization! 19 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,541 It is time you knew the truth about Les Littlejohn. 20 00:00:49,575 --> 00:00:53,136 You have no choice but to eliminate them. 21 00:00:54,246 --> 00:00:57,558 Tell me why. Why Les? 22 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:02,679 ♪ We'll take Manhattan ♪ 23 00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:05,182 Slow down. Terry, be clear. 24 00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:06,516 What is she saying? Shh. 25 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:07,517 Lindy? Quiet. Okay. 26 00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:09,561 Oh, hell. Oh, God. 27 00:01:09,595 --> 00:01:11,071 {\an8}Oh, I know. Okay. 28 00:01:12,889 --> 00:01:14,066 {\an8}She said yes. - Yes? 29 00:01:14,099 --> 00:01:15,233 {\an8}- Yes. - She said yes? 30 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,027 {\an8}- Yes! - She said yes! 31 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,247 Oh! 32 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,033 Congratulations. 33 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,284 You're getting married. Good luck. 34 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,869 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Married? No. 35 00:01:25,902 --> 00:01:27,579 - She wrote a novel. - And it's getting published! 36 00:01:27,613 --> 00:01:28,705 - Yes! - Nobody cares. 37 00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:30,040 It's New York. Swing a cat. 38 00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:32,042 I love this city. 39 00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:33,710 - Married. - Oh. 40 00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:36,129 Why would we ever ruin us by getting married? 41 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,756 - I know. - It's ridiculous. 42 00:01:37,789 --> 00:01:39,383 I mean, we live together, we love each other. 43 00:01:39,416 --> 00:01:41,551 What more do we need? I mean, it's silly. 44 00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:43,720 Silly. Right. 45 00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:45,722 Lindy, will you not be my wife? 46 00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:48,308 Les, I will not. 47 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,936 And will I not be your husband? 48 00:01:50,969 --> 00:01:54,272 - You will not, Les. - And will you... 49 00:01:54,306 --> 00:01:55,532 What? 50 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,112 What is this? 51 00:02:00,145 --> 00:02:01,571 Watch this. 52 00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,657 Uh-huh. Whoa, some fast fingers there, professor. 53 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:04,992 And you will now... 54 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,118 Uh-huh. 55 00:02:06,151 --> 00:02:07,411 ♪ The great big city's ♪ 56 00:02:07,444 --> 00:02:10,330 ...not marry me? 57 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,834 Absolutely not. Never, ever. 58 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:17,129 ♪ Just made ♪ ♪ For a girl and boy ♪ 59 00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:18,680 What the fuck is happening? 60 00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:24,227 Well, I thought we could maybe make it not official. 61 00:02:24,628 --> 00:02:26,596 ♪ Into an isle of joy ♪ 62 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:31,068 Are we not doing this or are we not not doing this? 63 00:02:31,468 --> 00:02:32,694 I don't know. 64 00:02:33,128 --> 00:02:35,522 I mean, we always said we wouldn't do 65 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,274 the icky marriage stuff, but... 66 00:02:37,307 --> 00:02:40,110 - But? - ...but maybe, 67 00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,662 maybe two nos make a yes? 68 00:02:43,146 --> 00:02:47,784 We've sworn for years that we were never, ever... 69 00:02:47,818 --> 00:02:49,119 - I know. I know. But maybe, - ...gonna get married. So... 70 00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,671 maybe the really defiant, 71 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,509 nonconformist, rebellious thing would be for us to... 72 00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:58,512 - Get fuckin' married. - Yeah. 73 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,297 But... - But, but 74 00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:02,007 like a non-traditional, 75 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,885 non-bridezilla, non-wedding wedding. 76 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:05,936 Yeah. 77 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,063 ♪ We'll stroll ♪ - Yeah. 78 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:16,279 ♪ Where first ♪ ♪ A kiss we stole ♪ 79 00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:31,878 Perfect. 80 00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:36,583 I cannot believe that you did all this. 81 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:38,418 I mean, I... - Alice? 82 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,420 - Right here, ma'am. - Oh, there you are. 83 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,672 - Always, ma'am. - Let's put this someplace... 84 00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,674 both: ...safe, under lock and key, 85 00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,093 nothing can happen to them. 86 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,344 - Check. - Next. 87 00:03:47,377 --> 00:03:48,762 - Flowers. - Flowers. 88 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,222 After the ceremony? - Transfer to the tables. 89 00:03:50,255 --> 00:03:51,848 - Low stem, vases only. - Vases only. 90 00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:53,517 To review, rehearsal dinner rundown. 91 00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:55,685 Drinks and hors d'oeuvres on arrival. 92 00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:57,562 Bride and groom welcome speech. 93 00:03:57,596 --> 00:03:59,356 Appetizers and various toasts. 94 00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:00,857 You have the approved list? - Yes, ma'am. 95 00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,527 Okay. Dessert. Done. Everybody fucks off. 96 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,695 I get my sleep. We good? - Good. 97 00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:07,864 - Good. Wait, just good? - Great. 98 00:04:07,898 --> 00:04:11,034 Great. Oh, one more thing. Agh! 99 00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:13,537 Videographer, so very important. 100 00:04:13,570 --> 00:04:14,871 One question only. What is it? 101 00:04:14,905 --> 00:04:16,706 "What is the secret to a happy marriage?" 102 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:17,607 What do I not want? 103 00:04:17,641 --> 00:04:19,543 Advice, "remember when," well wishes. 104 00:04:19,576 --> 00:04:20,710 Gold fuckin' star. 105 00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:22,587 Okay, ma'am. Excuse me. 106 00:04:22,621 --> 00:04:24,589 Kevin, classic rectangle, not bishop's hat. 107 00:04:24,623 --> 00:04:25,757 Oh, good catch. 108 00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:28,552 Jesus. Alice. 109 00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:31,555 - The font, spelling, placement? - Placement. 110 00:04:31,588 --> 00:04:35,225 My dad cannot sit next to my mom. 111 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:38,228 We were informed that a Walt was assuming 112 00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:40,730 the father-of-the-bride responsibilities, by... 113 00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:42,232 - Fucking Diane. - ...Diane, 114 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:43,900 mother of the bride. - Yeah. No, that is incorrect. 115 00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:45,485 We need to start again. Kevin. 116 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,486 Kevin, we need to begin again. 117 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,779 Hold on. What are you doing? 118 00:04:47,813 --> 00:04:50,740 I am preventing a nuclear fallout. 119 00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,075 She always does this. 120 00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:53,618 - Who? - Diane. 121 00:04:53,652 --> 00:04:55,412 - Does what? - Pushes my dad out. 122 00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:56,997 - But he's coming, right? - Right. 123 00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,917 So, we need to seat Jim, father of the bride 124 00:05:00,951 --> 00:05:04,963 next to Nancy. Nancy, mother of the groom 125 00:05:04,996 --> 00:05:08,967 from a normal, stable, functional family 126 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,638 and not my house of lies, madness, sadness family, okay? 127 00:05:13,672 --> 00:05:15,182 Kevin? Okay, Kevin? 128 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,641 Champagne or cocktails before dinner? 129 00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:19,436 - Cocktails. Thank you, Alice. - What?! 130 00:05:19,469 --> 00:05:21,438 - Champ--no. - Champagne! 131 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:23,940 Champagne. Champagne. Thank you, Alice. 132 00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:25,609 Diane and cocktails. 133 00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:27,110 No food, no absorption. 134 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:28,528 We talked about this. - Whoa. Whoa. 135 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,155 - She can... - Let's take a breath. 136 00:05:30,188 --> 00:05:33,033 We're losing sight. We're losing sight. 137 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,534 Thank you for using "we." 138 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:35,535 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 139 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,454 - We... - What is happening to me? 140 00:05:37,487 --> 00:05:38,622 ...hate--we hate this. 141 00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:39,831 - Right. Right. - All right? 142 00:05:39,865 --> 00:05:41,499 - Oh, my God. - We do not want this 143 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:44,502 and that's why it's fun, okay? 144 00:05:44,536 --> 00:05:46,630 Everything that goes bad is good... 145 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:47,505 - Uh-hmm. - ...because it makes 146 00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:48,506 for a better story. 147 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,133 Our not-wedding wedding 148 00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,302 for our not-marriage marriage, 149 00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:54,137 it's all nots, okay? 150 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:56,973 Rebels of the altar. It's just us. 151 00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:58,642 - Right. - It's you and me. 152 00:05:58,675 --> 00:05:59,851 - You and me. - You and me. 153 00:05:59,885 --> 00:06:01,403 - Okay. - Okay? 154 00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,980 Yeah. Okay. 155 00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:06,816 But, like, what if I lose control? 156 00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:07,817 Yeah, what if you lose-- That's right. 157 00:06:07,851 --> 00:06:09,319 Because I'm really on the edge. 158 00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:11,488 I think--I think that perhaps we need a safe word. 159 00:06:11,521 --> 00:06:12,405 That'd be good. 160 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,033 - Yeah. - Okay. Like, um... 161 00:06:15,066 --> 00:06:17,369 - Um... - ...uh... 162 00:06:17,402 --> 00:06:18,745 - I know. - What? 163 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,414 Like, like, um, Halloween 1999... 164 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,416 - Yeah. - ...in a sea of Bill Clintons 165 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,001 and Monica Lewinskys... - Uh-huh. 166 00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:27,170 ...and Linda Tripps, there were only two... 167 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,672 - Janet Renos. - Yeah. 168 00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:31,258 - Oh. Janet Reno. - Janet Reno. Safe word. 169 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,759 - I love it. - I love you. 170 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,053 - I fucking love you. - Okay. 171 00:06:35,086 --> 00:06:38,181 Okay. Okay. But that flower is not... 172 00:06:38,214 --> 00:06:39,516 - Hey, hey. - ...in the center. 173 00:06:39,549 --> 00:06:41,017 - Hey, come on. - Okay. I'm gonna... 174 00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:42,285 - Cool. Let's go. Come on. - I'm gonna let it go. 175 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:46,523 Countdown to guest arrival, T-minus 25 minutes. Twenty-five. 176 00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:47,357 I did. I did. 177 00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,358 - No. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 178 00:06:48,391 --> 00:06:49,609 - Hey, hey! - Martin. 179 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,279 - Hey, how are you? - Congratulations. 180 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,782 Ohh. Mwah. Oh! 181 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,868 Oh. Oh, sweet redeemer. Am I the first? 182 00:06:58,902 --> 00:07:00,203 - Always. - You're punctual. 183 00:07:00,236 --> 00:07:01,788 - Oh. - And where's, uh--is it Dana? 184 00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:05,583 - No date, or...? - Uh, Dana and I are exploring 185 00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:07,377 our options in a good way. 186 00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:08,461 - Cool. - Okay. 187 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:09,713 I need you in the kitchen. 188 00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:11,047 Uh, I'm greeting guests. 189 00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:12,215 I'm supposed to be here. 190 00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:15,093 What? 191 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,357 Okay. 192 00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:22,726 It's nothing. - Okay. 193 00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:23,893 - Nothing. - Is everything okay? 194 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:26,062 - Yes, good. - Um, so, well? 195 00:07:26,096 --> 00:07:27,897 Oh, Dana felt that she needed... 196 00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,566 - No, no, no, about the... - Oh, oh, oh. 197 00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,067 You--you know what? Let's not talk tomato. 198 00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:32,569 - Oh, they passed. - No, it's... 199 00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:34,738 - They fucking passed. What? - It's fine. It's fine. 200 00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,448 VC assholes. 201 00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:38,658 They've got no vision, they've got no fucking... 202 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,459 - Hey. - ...balls. 203 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,952 Hey, hey, we'll get there, okay? 204 00:07:40,986 --> 00:07:42,245 I know a guy at Monsanto. 205 00:07:42,278 --> 00:07:44,581 Kill me if we end up at Monsanto. 206 00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:47,083 Hey. - Hi. 207 00:07:47,117 --> 00:07:48,585 Hey. So how was your nothing? 208 00:07:48,618 --> 00:07:50,170 It's fine. Yes, it'll be fine. 209 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,504 Good. 210 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:52,922 How is everything? Everything fine? 211 00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:54,257 Fine, fine, fine. Good. 212 00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,592 Oh, they passed? 213 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:56,926 No, no, no, it's Dana. 214 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,803 We're hoping she'll come through, right? 215 00:07:58,837 --> 00:08:02,265 Um, yeah. Um, hey, you know, I'll be at the bar. 216 00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:03,733 - Cool. Okay. - Yeah. 217 00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:07,103 Diane, Walt. 218 00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:09,647 Walt needs to use the restroom. 219 00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:12,108 The signage here, lacking. 220 00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,486 Uh, down the hall, first left on the left. 221 00:08:14,519 --> 00:08:17,322 - Left? Right. - No, left. 222 00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:20,283 Okay. Right. 223 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:22,168 Good luck. Thank you. 224 00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,087 Okay. 225 00:08:25,488 --> 00:08:28,124 Snub. Noted. 226 00:08:28,158 --> 00:08:30,043 Les, has he cancelled yet? - Who? 227 00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,670 - Jim. - Uh, no, no, no, he's confirmed. 228 00:08:32,704 --> 00:08:34,464 - Who said? - Lindy said. 229 00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:36,508 No, he's not coming. You need to prepare. 230 00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:37,509 Prepare for what? 231 00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:39,636 Heartbreak, drama, tears. 232 00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:41,513 Walt will walk Lindy down the aisle. 233 00:08:41,546 --> 00:08:42,555 I think Lindy wanted her dad... 234 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,640 It's handled. 235 00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,225 Walt will step in for Jim. 236 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,861 Crisis averted, less drama, fewer tears. 237 00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:05,245 woman: Ready? And what is the secret 238 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,747 to a happy marriage? 239 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,875 There is no secret. Walt? 240 00:09:10,909 --> 00:09:12,043 - Nope. - No. 241 00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:14,546 And happy? Unsustainable. 242 00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:15,713 Enough said. 243 00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,257 But I will say, 244 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,134 I know it's fashionable these days 245 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:23,054 for everyone to express every single feeling 246 00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:25,723 at every single moment, but as far as I'm concerned, 247 00:09:25,757 --> 00:09:29,269 it doesn't do anyone the slightest bit of good. 248 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,822 And marriage--Walt? 249 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,067 Be nice. 250 00:09:36,101 --> 00:09:41,206 And if you can't be nice... be silent. 251 00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:43,208 Walt? 252 00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,836 Why the fuck are you two doing this? 253 00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:56,254 Terry. 254 00:09:56,287 --> 00:09:58,339 You mean, why are we doing marriage? 255 00:09:58,373 --> 00:10:00,133 Hey, hey. - Uh-hmm. Hi. 256 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,927 - Hi, hi. - Okay. Be nice. Okay. 257 00:10:02,961 --> 00:10:05,688 I do have the greatest wedding present ever. 258 00:10:06,548 --> 00:10:07,682 Open it now. 259 00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,017 No, we're doing gifts, like, after... 260 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:10,151 Now, damn it. 261 00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:12,320 Okay. Is this what I think it is? 262 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:14,772 We have a ton of work to do. 263 00:10:14,806 --> 00:10:16,491 Oh, no, we don't--hey. - Stop, it can't wait. 264 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,280 No, it has to wait. I mean, I have to be here. 265 00:10:22,313 --> 00:10:23,531 Well, you want to be here. 266 00:10:23,565 --> 00:10:24,991 - Yes, I want to be here. - Yeah. 267 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,451 - I want to... - You have to be here? 268 00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:28,328 All right, Stepford. - I want to be here. 269 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,787 It's my wedding. 270 00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:30,872 And we agreed that we wouldn't do any work 271 00:10:30,905 --> 00:10:32,499 on the wedding. - Right. 272 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,042 Uh, does your book go to print Monday, Tomatohead? 273 00:10:34,075 --> 00:10:35,885 What? You told her about the tomato? 274 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,879 - Was it a secret? - Yeah. 275 00:10:37,912 --> 00:10:39,797 Word could get out. - We don't have any secrets. 276 00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,883 Get used to it, Leslie. - "Word can get out"? 277 00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:42,967 You have no right to call me Leslie. 278 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:43,968 Is it not your name? 279 00:10:44,002 --> 00:10:45,512 You have no emotional right. 280 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,638 Okay. Hey, hey, baby. Hey, look who's here, 281 00:10:46,671 --> 00:10:47,939 your mom and dad. 282 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,858 Oh. 283 00:10:50,992 --> 00:10:53,478 Lindy, Mom and Dad are here. - I--I'm right behind you. 284 00:10:53,511 --> 00:10:54,779 - Okay. - I'm right behind you. 285 00:10:56,514 --> 00:10:58,358 "Mom and Dad." How sweet. 286 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,235 Yeah, I am going all fucking in 287 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,819 on this new normal family. 288 00:11:01,853 --> 00:11:02,887 There is no normal. 289 00:11:02,921 --> 00:11:04,489 Do you want your book in Barnes and Noble or what? 290 00:11:04,522 --> 00:11:05,823 Yeah, of course I do. Take a drink. 291 00:11:05,857 --> 00:11:07,367 I'm getting blurbs from France, 292 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,910 I'm getting blurbs from Donna Tartt. 293 00:11:08,943 --> 00:11:10,328 - What? - She doesn't blurb. 294 00:11:10,361 --> 00:11:12,330 And here you are worrying about fucking canapes. 295 00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:13,631 Oh, my God. 296 00:11:14,866 --> 00:11:16,301 What happened to our pact? 297 00:11:16,768 --> 00:11:18,336 - Terry. - We marry our careers. 298 00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:22,223 We breed success only. We date and dump. 299 00:11:22,624 --> 00:11:24,926 No marriage, no traditional gender roles, 300 00:11:24,959 --> 00:11:27,345 no Midwesterners, no cowboys. New Yorkers... 301 00:11:27,378 --> 00:11:28,680 need only apply. - Need only apply. 302 00:11:28,713 --> 00:11:31,599 We were young and we were not serious. 303 00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:33,351 We were deadly serious. 304 00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:34,769 Yeah, but that was when I didn't think 305 00:11:34,802 --> 00:11:36,854 I was ever gonna... - No, no. Don't say love. 306 00:11:36,888 --> 00:11:38,439 ...have actual love in my life. 307 00:11:38,473 --> 00:11:40,283 I will throw myself off the roof of this hotel. 308 00:11:40,683 --> 00:11:42,744 Is it the wedding you're mad about? 309 00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:46,447 Or is it Les? - Fine. I don't like either. 310 00:11:46,481 --> 00:11:49,867 But my concern is less about Les and more about you 311 00:11:49,901 --> 00:11:52,287 moving to the fucking suburbs and being unable to write. 312 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,746 I am not moving to the suburbs. 313 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,290 Les doesn't want that either. 314 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,584 I will never not write, and I don't vacuum, 315 00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:58,927 so I will be me. 316 00:11:59,661 --> 00:12:01,421 Now I know I'm fucked. 317 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,881 It's a wedding. It's not a death sentence. 318 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:05,642 Mm, they're one and the same. 319 00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:09,721 Yeah, thank you, Mrs. Littlejohn. 320 00:12:09,754 --> 00:12:11,139 - How was the journey down? - Oh, no, no, no. Nancy, dear. 321 00:12:11,172 --> 00:12:12,390 Or Mom, you can use. - How was the drive down? 322 00:12:12,423 --> 00:12:13,766 Uh, long. Long. My leg cramped up. 323 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,892 I don't wanna stir the pot and upset Diane. 324 00:12:14,926 --> 00:12:16,102 - Oh, no. - Well, I--Mom, it is. 325 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:17,812 - Aww. Yay. - Can I get you anything? 326 00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:19,147 Like ice or aspirin? Or... 327 00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:21,065 Oh, no, no. I'm not crying about it. 328 00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:22,900 The Littlejohns are here! Hey! Whoa! 329 00:12:24,002 --> 00:12:25,403 Hey, where can we get a real drink in this dump? 330 00:12:25,436 --> 00:12:28,906 Hey. Good to see you. - Hey, buddy. 331 00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:31,576 Mm, Lindy, looking hot. Okay, Sam. 332 00:12:31,609 --> 00:12:33,953 Well, your wife's right there. Okay. 333 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,913 - Congrats, bro. - Thanks, buddy. 334 00:12:35,947 --> 00:12:38,249 Jesus! 335 00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:40,335 Watch the family jewels, there. 336 00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,961 Boys, leave your brother alone. 337 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,423 Mommy's not gonna come to your defense anymore, Leslie, eh? 338 00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:47,091 That's Lindy's job now. 339 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:50,428 Yeah, well, I'm gonna... Ha, ha, ha. Okay, guys. 340 00:12:50,461 --> 00:12:51,804 Get in the bar, you know. - Come on, let's get a drink. 341 00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:54,098 Come on, come on. Yeah, get a drink, huh? 342 00:12:54,132 --> 00:12:55,300 Great to see you. 343 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,435 Frank Jr.: Did you see his face? Oh, my God. What a loser. 344 00:12:57,468 --> 00:12:59,103 Do you need ice or anything? 345 00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:00,822 Are you gonna throw up? 346 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,579 Okay... here we go. 347 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,783 Thank you. 348 00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:14,827 Welcome, everyone. Welcome. Welcome. 349 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,954 Um, we can't tell you how honored we are 350 00:13:16,988 --> 00:13:18,706 to have you all here. Uh... - Yes. 351 00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:20,883 Many of you know that Les and I 352 00:13:21,417 --> 00:13:23,378 never planned to do any of this. 353 00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,629 - Nope. - Nope. 354 00:13:24,662 --> 00:13:26,714 - Nope. Not at all. No way. - Nope. 355 00:13:26,748 --> 00:13:28,466 Uh, but I did know, I did know, 356 00:13:28,499 --> 00:13:30,301 I will tell you this, that I did know that when, 357 00:13:30,335 --> 00:13:33,021 um, the first moment that I--that I met her, 358 00:13:33,454 --> 00:13:36,516 something inside me changed. 359 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,643 And I knew that I wanted to, um... 360 00:13:38,676 --> 00:13:40,194 I wanted her in my life forever... 361 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:44,532 and ever. - And ever, yes. Thank you. 362 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:48,027 Um, well, alcohol and a sexy Halloween costume 363 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,245 will do that to you. 364 00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:50,988 That's what got me. 365 00:13:51,022 --> 00:13:54,158 Um, I will say that our first date, 366 00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:55,868 like, got off to a bit of a rocky start, though. 367 00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,995 - Ohh. - Because I had asked her to, 368 00:13:58,029 --> 00:13:59,330 um, the classiest restaurant 369 00:13:59,364 --> 00:14:01,499 that my-- my grad student stipend 370 00:14:01,532 --> 00:14:03,209 would allow, the Olive Garden. 371 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,503 Ohh. Wonderful. 372 00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:09,507 I was so scared, anticipating Lindy's arrival. 373 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:12,593 I was sitting there waiting, waiting, and waiting, 374 00:14:12,627 --> 00:14:14,595 until it became obvious to me, 375 00:14:14,629 --> 00:14:16,889 and to the entire restaurant, that she wasn't coming. 376 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:19,058 And she had stood me up 377 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,269 at the Olive Garden. 378 00:14:21,302 --> 00:14:23,271 Uh, and finally a waiter came over 379 00:14:23,304 --> 00:14:26,691 and asked if there was anything else I needed, um... 380 00:14:26,724 --> 00:14:28,860 My dignity, my pride, maybe. 381 00:14:28,893 --> 00:14:31,028 Um, and I was about to ask for the check 382 00:14:31,062 --> 00:14:34,198 when a voice rang out... 383 00:14:34,232 --> 00:14:37,201 "Your finest house red, unlimited breadsticks, 384 00:14:37,235 --> 00:14:38,870 and an apology for the sad, 385 00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:41,205 sexy sack at table nine." 386 00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:43,416 I'm glad I waited. 387 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,259 Because those breadsticks were really good. 388 00:14:48,329 --> 00:14:49,305 To you. 389 00:14:49,939 --> 00:14:52,809 And to me, and to forever. 390 00:14:54,919 --> 00:14:59,557 To all of those things and to you, to you for... 391 00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:01,225 - To you. - ...making the trip. 392 00:15:01,259 --> 00:15:02,602 We really-- we love you all so much. 393 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,145 Thank you. - We do. Let's eat. 394 00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:05,613 Yes. 395 00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:10,485 Aww, lovely speech. Thank you both. 396 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:11,903 Thank you. 397 00:15:11,936 --> 00:15:14,122 Aww. Well. Cute, right? 398 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:23,664 Uh, attention. 399 00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:26,334 We're having a small issue in the kitchen, 400 00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,252 a tiny delay with dinner. 401 00:15:28,286 --> 00:15:29,837 So we're bringing cocktails for everyone 402 00:15:29,871 --> 00:15:31,422 to enjoy in the interim. 403 00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:32,423 Great. 404 00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:36,427 - No, I have to go. - No, no, no. We hate this. 405 00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:37,929 More cocktails? 406 00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:39,472 You know how many cocktails she's already had? 407 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:40,932 - We hate this. - This is a recipe for disaster. 408 00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,183 We hate this. 409 00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,602 Gasoline. The match is lit. 410 00:15:44,635 --> 00:15:47,738 The match is lit. Thank you. 411 00:15:48,673 --> 00:15:50,983 It is what it is, isn't it? 412 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,834 Keeping romance alive. 413 00:16:00,368 --> 00:16:03,621 Les is a hopeless romantic at heart. 414 00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:06,874 Do you remember those sweet poems he used to-- 415 00:16:06,908 --> 00:16:09,001 he used to write when he was little, dear? 416 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,670 - Mm. - He would--he would put them 417 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,046 on our pillow every night... 418 00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:13,464 - Uh-hmm. - ...before he went to sleep. 419 00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,892 Glad he grew out of that one, or... 420 00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:18,636 I-I remember, um, 421 00:16:18,669 --> 00:16:21,305 "Twinkle, twinkle, little me, how I wonder... 422 00:16:21,339 --> 00:16:22,723 - Yeah, okay. The rest of it, - "...what I'll be." 423 00:16:22,757 --> 00:16:25,401 they get it. They get it. 424 00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:34,485 - Bride or groom? - Lindy. Best friend. 425 00:16:34,519 --> 00:16:36,988 Oh. Oh, yeah. Les is my best friend. 426 00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:39,657 Yeah, how come our paths have never crossed? 427 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:41,542 Oh, I don't like him. I mean, do you? 428 00:16:43,194 --> 00:16:46,205 - I never thought about it. - Huh. You didn't say yes. 429 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,541 Oh, well, now, you... you caught me off guard. 430 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,377 Well, isn't-- doesn't best friend imply yes? 431 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,671 Not always. 432 00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:56,215 I get the impression you don't wanna be here? 433 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,100 Lindy wants me here, so I'm here. 434 00:17:00,294 --> 00:17:01,938 You here with a plus-one? 435 00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:05,066 Why, no. 436 00:17:05,366 --> 00:17:06,567 Where's your date? 437 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,160 It's complicated. 438 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,738 Ugh, complicated leads to all of this. 439 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,407 You're very direct. 440 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,410 - You like it? - I don't know if I do. 441 00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:18,863 You will. Hi. 442 00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:21,832 I don't know if I will. Just wait. 443 00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:27,288 - So you're ready for the show? - Oh, yes. 444 00:17:27,321 --> 00:17:28,873 Gary, when do you think the show will start? 445 00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:30,291 What show? 446 00:17:30,324 --> 00:17:31,792 Wait, is this your first McMichael event? 447 00:17:31,826 --> 00:17:33,711 Have you never been to a McMichael event? 448 00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:36,422 - Yeah, I--no. Why? - Things are gonna get nuts. 449 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,716 Oh, we guarantee it. Nuts. 450 00:17:38,749 --> 00:17:42,553 - I predict blood. - Yes. Blood. 451 00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:43,638 both: Mm-hmm. 452 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:46,223 What kind of blood? What? 453 00:17:46,257 --> 00:17:49,277 Look at me. Tell me. 454 00:17:50,595 --> 00:17:52,280 Is this what you really want? 455 00:17:55,349 --> 00:17:58,569 - Terry. - Ha, you didn't say yes. 456 00:17:58,603 --> 00:18:00,905 Are you working at your wedding? 457 00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:02,957 My book goes to print Monday. 458 00:18:03,257 --> 00:18:05,459 Hi. Welcome. How many is that? 459 00:18:08,946 --> 00:18:12,249 I told Les, Walt will walk you down the aisle. 460 00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:13,793 Dad will. 461 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,462 Optimism is naive and not you. 462 00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:18,923 You have been perfectly cast as negativity. 463 00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:20,633 Typecast. Hi, Diane. 464 00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,643 You're not helping. Hi, Terry. 465 00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:25,930 Need I remind you how many times your father was a no-show? 466 00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,349 Pick an event. - Mom, your grievances 467 00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:29,767 are not my grievances. 468 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,770 I was the one left to pick up the pieces. 469 00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:34,981 Oh, you mean kick the pieces 470 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,657 and say "I told you so." 471 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,028 If you don't wanna follow in your father's footsteps, 472 00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:43,489 you should be over there with your husband-to-be. 473 00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:46,826 That is your duty as wife-to-be. 474 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,086 Don't mess this up, too. 475 00:18:54,408 --> 00:18:56,711 Mother of ice. 476 00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,095 What an exit. 477 00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:01,799 - Duty? - Well, you are a wife-to-be. 478 00:19:01,832 --> 00:19:04,468 - Oh, is that the book? - Yeah. 479 00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:06,637 - Am I in it? - Okay, no one's in it. 480 00:19:06,671 --> 00:19:07,638 It's fiction. 481 00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,557 I cannot believe 482 00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:11,809 that you are getting married, 483 00:19:11,842 --> 00:19:14,061 when you always said you never wanted to. 484 00:19:14,095 --> 00:19:15,946 And I always wanted to. 485 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,066 But I could never find the one, not that there is, like, a one, 486 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,985 but I found him. 487 00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:21,986 Oh. 488 00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:23,371 Tim, this is my-- 489 00:19:25,189 --> 00:19:26,991 Has anyone seen Tim? 490 00:19:27,024 --> 00:19:30,461 Um, Erin, is that him? 491 00:19:30,861 --> 00:19:34,415 Oh, God. Uh, yeah. Isn't he great? 492 00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:36,167 - Yeah, he's... - I'll be right back. 493 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,551 Hi, Terry. - Hi. 494 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,506 I don't know what love is. I don't know. 495 00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:45,259 None of us do. But they know. They know. 496 00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,053 Last time I spoke to this many people 497 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,055 was for the launch of the Ford Taurus, 498 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,265 as some of you probably know I-I designed. 499 00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,934 Sorry, I'm gonna bring this down to human height. 500 00:19:53,968 --> 00:19:55,611 I've known you a long time. 501 00:19:56,245 --> 00:19:59,949 Long time, 'member? Yeah. I do. 502 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:02,693 Oh, this, um, was Les' favorite song 503 00:20:02,727 --> 00:20:03,903 when he was little. 504 00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,529 You'll remember it, Les. 505 00:20:05,563 --> 00:20:07,406 ♪ I u-lu-lused to pla-lay-lay ♪ ♪ The ol-old banjo-lo ♪ 506 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,533 ♪ And re-te-lest it ♪ ♪ O-lo-lon my knee-lelelelee ♪ 507 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:12,036 But honestly, when I first saw you two together, 508 00:20:12,069 --> 00:20:14,538 I was like, "Mm-mm, no way, never gonna happen. 509 00:20:14,572 --> 00:20:16,248 It's never gonna happen." 510 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,541 We're so happy for you. 511 00:20:17,575 --> 00:20:20,544 both: So happy for you. 512 00:20:20,578 --> 00:20:22,880 To my much older sister, 513 00:20:22,913 --> 00:20:26,050 who found the one so easily. 514 00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:27,251 'Cause of course. 515 00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:30,888 Lindy, Lindy, Lindy, Lindy, you are... 516 00:20:30,921 --> 00:20:32,473 You are hot. 517 00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:33,599 ♪ And now-lo-low ♪ ♪ The stri-li-lings ♪ 518 00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,734 ♪ Are metal and so-lo-lo ♪ 519 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,652 ♪ This so-lo-long ♪ ♪ I si-li-ling for you ♪ 520 00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:41,107 Anyway, I'm hopeful, you know. 521 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,400 I have my Tim. 522 00:20:43,434 --> 00:20:46,487 We should ask them what love is, right? 523 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,791 Oh! Drunk. 524 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,126 Has anyone seen Tim? 525 00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,494 ♪ This so-lo-long ♪ ♪ I si-li-ling ♪ 526 00:20:53,527 --> 00:20:55,212 ♪ For you-lu-lu-lu-lu ♪ 527 00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:02,803 Love. It's a beautiful thing. 528 00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:10,469 - Where the fuck is the food? - Minutes away, ma'am-- 529 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:11,929 I mean miss. 530 00:21:11,962 --> 00:21:13,430 Alice, you said that five minutes ago. 531 00:21:13,464 --> 00:21:15,149 I know, I know, it's... Jim [on mic]: Peas and carrots. 532 00:21:18,135 --> 00:21:19,353 Daddy. 533 00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:21,147 You know, Lindy was born on my birthday, 534 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,524 stealing my thunder from day one. 535 00:21:24,758 --> 00:21:28,329 From the moment my baby girl breathed air, she screamed. 536 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,823 And not just-been-born scream, no. 537 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:34,001 This one, this one had something to say. 538 00:21:34,535 --> 00:21:37,121 And I thought, "Holy shit... 539 00:21:37,154 --> 00:21:38,622 ...now I got two women screaming at me." 540 00:21:38,656 --> 00:21:39,623 Hi, Diane. 541 00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:44,887 Then I held her in my arms 542 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,298 and she suddenly stopped screaming. 543 00:21:47,331 --> 00:21:48,632 Silence. 544 00:21:48,666 --> 00:21:49,842 The nurse said she'd never seen 545 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,135 anything like it. 546 00:21:51,168 --> 00:21:53,687 She said, "You two belong together. 547 00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,641 Like peas and carrots." 548 00:21:57,675 --> 00:21:59,643 He was in Milwaukee the day she was born. 549 00:21:59,677 --> 00:22:00,778 And to see her now, 550 00:22:01,679 --> 00:22:03,355 young, in love, 551 00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:05,074 getting married, 552 00:22:06,183 --> 00:22:07,576 bright futures ahead of you. 553 00:22:08,143 --> 00:22:11,238 It makes a man feel a little bit, uh, giddy 554 00:22:11,272 --> 00:22:12,531 just sharing the air with you. 555 00:22:13,941 --> 00:22:15,034 As long as there's no screamin'. 556 00:22:17,278 --> 00:22:19,547 You know, when you got kids... 557 00:22:20,698 --> 00:22:23,467 you see a little bit of you in them. 558 00:22:24,743 --> 00:22:27,338 And when they find someone 559 00:22:27,371 --> 00:22:30,883 who loves them, it's... 560 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,384 it's like that little piece of you 561 00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:34,436 is getting that love, too. 562 00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,232 It makes this old man feel... 563 00:22:41,218 --> 00:22:42,519 very proud. 564 00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:45,731 Congratulations to you both. 565 00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,399 I couldn't be happier. 566 00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:50,236 Hey, you're the peas and carrots now. 567 00:22:57,234 --> 00:22:59,703 - Speech of the night. - Speech of the night. 568 00:22:59,737 --> 00:23:00,955 At least he didn't regale us 569 00:23:00,988 --> 00:23:02,798 with his so-called baseball career. 570 00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:08,429 Oh, baby. 571 00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:13,133 Oh, I'm so happy you're here. 572 00:23:13,167 --> 00:23:14,852 Gotta have someone on your team, kiddo. 573 00:23:15,452 --> 00:23:19,223 Daddy, this is Les. 574 00:23:19,256 --> 00:23:21,058 Mr. McMichael, an honor, sir. 575 00:23:21,091 --> 00:23:22,893 Jim, never sir. 576 00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,144 Oh. 577 00:23:24,178 --> 00:23:26,272 - And the honor is mine. - Okay. 578 00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:27,898 But there's an obligation I have as a father. 579 00:23:27,932 --> 00:23:30,109 And that is that if you break her heart... 580 00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,620 Uh-hmm. - ...I will break yours, son. 581 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,657 I'm kidding. 582 00:23:36,690 --> 00:23:40,411 Clear, direct, threatening, uh, with warmth and jest. 583 00:23:40,444 --> 00:23:42,338 I can see where Lindy gets it. 584 00:23:44,156 --> 00:23:45,499 Hey, hey. 585 00:23:45,532 --> 00:23:46,917 Diane. 586 00:23:46,951 --> 00:23:48,127 Jim. 587 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,169 Walt. 588 00:23:49,203 --> 00:23:50,754 - Jim. - Les. 589 00:23:50,788 --> 00:23:52,339 Oh, uh, Kevin! 590 00:23:52,373 --> 00:23:53,590 Mom. 591 00:23:53,624 --> 00:23:54,683 Lindy. 592 00:23:59,046 --> 00:24:01,265 So, how about that book of hers? 593 00:24:01,298 --> 00:24:03,350 - My--you read it? - Read it? 594 00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:05,811 It's incredible. You're a big talent, Lindy. 595 00:24:05,844 --> 00:24:07,938 - Dad. - Chip off the old block. 596 00:24:07,972 --> 00:24:09,773 And, boy, did you get the Diane character 597 00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:11,442 down to a tee. Dad. 598 00:24:11,475 --> 00:24:13,360 Yeah. It kept me looking over my shoulder, kiddo. 599 00:24:13,394 --> 00:24:14,945 I'm--I'm--I'm in it? 600 00:24:14,979 --> 00:24:16,488 No, nobody's in it. It's fiction. 601 00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:17,823 I'm a--I'm a character in your book 602 00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:19,033 and you managed to send him 603 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:20,117 an advance copy 604 00:24:20,150 --> 00:24:21,785 to address unknown, 605 00:24:21,819 --> 00:24:23,379 but not me? - Mom. 606 00:24:24,321 --> 00:24:25,339 Walt? 607 00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:28,092 - Diane. - Mom. 608 00:24:29,368 --> 00:24:30,678 Kevin! 609 00:24:34,832 --> 00:24:36,633 Leslie, show Dad what you were showing me. 610 00:24:36,667 --> 00:24:38,218 Oh, no, no. It's early days. 611 00:24:38,252 --> 00:24:40,137 It's not--no, no. - Show him. It's extraordinary. 612 00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:42,556 Frank. Yeah. - Yeah, show me. Come on. 613 00:24:42,589 --> 00:24:44,850 - Okay. If you're sure. - Food's not here yet. 614 00:24:44,883 --> 00:24:47,144 See? It's the perfect time. Go on, dear. 615 00:24:47,177 --> 00:24:49,897 Okay. Well, um, Dad, 616 00:24:49,930 --> 00:24:52,649 I... I am on the brink 617 00:24:52,683 --> 00:24:56,028 of inventing the GMO tomato. 618 00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:57,821 - Oh. - It's the... 619 00:24:57,855 --> 00:25:00,032 So the genetically modified tomato really has the potential 620 00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:03,160 to, um, change agriculture as we know it. 621 00:25:03,193 --> 00:25:05,496 And Monsanto, uh, is interested, actually. 622 00:25:05,529 --> 00:25:07,247 Hasn't the tomato already been invented? 623 00:25:07,281 --> 00:25:08,665 Yeah, but this is a new kind of-- 624 00:25:08,699 --> 00:25:10,000 this is a different kind of tomato. 625 00:25:10,034 --> 00:25:11,668 You love tomatoes, Frank. 626 00:25:11,702 --> 00:25:13,470 I do love tomatoes in the sandwich. 627 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,258 Does it-- does it look like a tomato? 628 00:25:18,292 --> 00:25:20,219 Yeah, but it's genetically modified. 629 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,678 And it tastes like a tomato? 630 00:25:21,712 --> 00:25:23,230 Yes. But--yeah. 631 00:25:24,381 --> 00:25:26,016 - It's a tomato? - It is. It is. Yeah. 632 00:25:26,050 --> 00:25:27,067 Nice. 633 00:25:28,093 --> 00:25:29,603 Yup. Yup. 634 00:25:29,636 --> 00:25:31,355 You see? He's impressed. 635 00:25:31,388 --> 00:25:33,157 Yeah. 636 00:25:43,734 --> 00:25:45,869 Uh, bullshit to marriage, bullshit to happy. 637 00:25:45,903 --> 00:25:48,789 Do you wanna know what genre I file romance under? Fantasy. 638 00:25:48,822 --> 00:25:50,374 And as for Lindy and the Nutty Professor, 639 00:25:50,407 --> 00:25:51,917 science fiction. 640 00:25:51,950 --> 00:25:53,377 I'm just waiting for the day my phone rings 641 00:25:53,410 --> 00:25:55,262 and she's accidentally got two heads. 642 00:25:56,914 --> 00:25:59,308 Attention, distinguished guests. 643 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,094 The food is on its way. all: Whoo! 644 00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:03,637 Please return to your seats 645 00:26:03,670 --> 00:26:05,055 in a timely manner and we'll-- 646 00:26:05,089 --> 00:26:06,523 "Chapter Nine, 647 00:26:07,466 --> 00:26:09,726 Mother of Ice." 648 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,228 Oh, fuck. 649 00:26:11,261 --> 00:26:14,481 "My mother was not kind or warm." 650 00:26:14,515 --> 00:26:16,108 - Walt, go stop her. - Yeah. 651 00:26:16,141 --> 00:26:17,901 - Do something. - I'm no hero. 652 00:26:17,935 --> 00:26:19,403 "...emotional icicle." Okay. All right. 653 00:26:19,436 --> 00:26:20,988 Everybody, take your seats. Sit down. 654 00:26:21,021 --> 00:26:22,489 Don't worry, everybody. Mom. 655 00:26:22,523 --> 00:26:23,949 "Her feelings frozen into harsh..." 656 00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:25,659 - Okay. We're gonna eat. - "...jagged edges..." 657 00:26:25,692 --> 00:26:27,077 Let's, uh... "...ready to impale 658 00:26:27,111 --> 00:26:28,745 anyone who got too..." 659 00:26:28,779 --> 00:26:30,330 Stop it. - Diane. 660 00:26:30,364 --> 00:26:31,290 You're ruining--Mom, what the fuck are you doing? 661 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:32,749 You're ruining my wedding. 662 00:26:32,783 --> 00:26:34,251 Diane, would you like some coffee? 663 00:26:34,284 --> 00:26:35,502 Where is, uh, Kevin? "As soon as..." 664 00:26:35,536 --> 00:26:36,837 You know what? Let's just... 665 00:26:36,870 --> 00:26:38,338 Kevin? Kevin? - I'm--I'm-- 666 00:26:38,372 --> 00:26:39,631 "as soon as my mother..." - Diane. Diane. 667 00:26:39,665 --> 00:26:40,591 - Kevin! - "...temperature dropped, 668 00:26:40,624 --> 00:26:41,625 the air sparked." 669 00:26:41,658 --> 00:26:42,926 When you want him, he's never freakin' there. 670 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,761 Kevin! We need coffee. 671 00:26:44,795 --> 00:26:47,097 Okay. Let's just--can I unplug this? 672 00:26:47,131 --> 00:26:48,932 Yeah. It's a good idea, great idea. 673 00:26:48,966 --> 00:26:50,309 "...scorned my mother's love." 674 00:26:50,342 --> 00:26:51,602 Unplug it. Mom. 675 00:26:51,635 --> 00:26:52,519 What are you doing? 676 00:26:52,553 --> 00:26:54,021 "Hell hath no fury 677 00:26:54,054 --> 00:26:57,441 "like a repressed middle-aged mother scorned. 678 00:26:57,474 --> 00:26:59,151 "My mother's love, conditional. 679 00:26:59,184 --> 00:27:00,944 "It had to be earned, it had to be controlled." 680 00:27:00,978 --> 00:27:02,446 Kevin! Unhand me. 681 00:27:02,479 --> 00:27:05,282 Ah! - I'm burning! 682 00:27:05,315 --> 00:27:07,993 He's fine. He's fine. He's not burning. 683 00:27:08,026 --> 00:27:11,121 "My mother was not one to forget or forgive." 684 00:27:11,155 --> 00:27:13,624 Mother, stop! 685 00:27:13,657 --> 00:27:15,334 We're getting out of here. Walt. 686 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,629 Oh, Jesus! Fuck, Diane! 687 00:27:18,662 --> 00:27:21,465 Drop the knife, Mom. Put the knife down. 688 00:27:21,498 --> 00:27:24,384 Oh! Ow, ow, ow, ow! 689 00:27:24,418 --> 00:27:26,011 I've been stabbed! - Oh, Les. 690 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,221 man: Oh, fuck! I've been stabbed! 691 00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:28,680 Femoral artery, I could bleed out! 692 00:27:28,714 --> 00:27:29,615 I gotta pull it, right? 693 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,141 No, don't pull it out. It's okay. 694 00:27:31,175 --> 00:27:33,477 I don't think it's gonna be fine with me! 695 00:27:33,510 --> 00:27:34,478 I'm gonna take it out. 696 00:27:34,511 --> 00:27:35,245 I really don't think you should take it out. 697 00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:36,113 - Three, two, one! - No, Lindy! 698 00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,485 Everybody's getting stabbed. 699 00:27:41,518 --> 00:27:43,487 Oh, let's get you out of here, dear. 700 00:27:48,358 --> 00:27:49,993 Oh, my God. 701 00:27:50,027 --> 00:27:52,162 Walter, could you restrain your fuckin' wife! 702 00:27:52,196 --> 00:27:53,914 - Walt. Walt. - Don't tell me what to do. 703 00:27:53,947 --> 00:27:56,667 - Come on! Go there! - I'm telling ya... 704 00:27:56,700 --> 00:27:58,669 I fuckin' will. 705 00:27:58,702 --> 00:27:59,545 - Dad! - Frank! 706 00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:00,921 - Jim! - Frank! 707 00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:07,427 Holy Gracious Savior, you called it. 708 00:28:07,461 --> 00:28:09,012 A double stabbing. 709 00:28:09,046 --> 00:28:10,097 Should've put money on it. 710 00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:12,432 Marriage. Blood sport. 711 00:28:12,466 --> 00:28:14,893 Will everybody please sit down 712 00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:18,272 and enjoy the fucking tuna tartare?! 713 00:28:24,478 --> 00:28:27,581 officer: Uh, what happened exactly? 714 00:28:28,774 --> 00:28:30,250 Rehearsal dinner. 715 00:28:32,236 --> 00:28:33,170 Got it. 716 00:28:34,446 --> 00:28:37,841 By the way, I liked your speech a lot. 717 00:28:39,409 --> 00:28:40,594 By the way... 718 00:28:41,662 --> 00:28:45,515 I liked your face a lot. 719 00:28:46,416 --> 00:28:48,477 My room, let's go. Now. 720 00:28:49,753 --> 00:28:51,688 Bless this shepherd. 721 00:28:52,422 --> 00:28:54,057 I should probably introduce myself... 722 00:28:54,091 --> 00:28:55,442 - Don't. - ...I'm--oh. 723 00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:00,981 woman: What's the secret to a happy marriage? 724 00:29:01,014 --> 00:29:02,783 - Being in sync. - Being... in sync. 725 00:29:06,770 --> 00:29:09,957 - Such a shit... - What a shit show. 726 00:29:11,358 --> 00:29:13,543 Oh, my God, my family. 727 00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:16,121 Always with the drama. - Oh, my God. Fuck. 728 00:29:16,154 --> 00:29:17,914 I mean, I only wanted to get married 729 00:29:17,948 --> 00:29:19,583 to join your normal family 730 00:29:19,616 --> 00:29:23,503 so I could escape from the madness of my own. 731 00:29:23,537 --> 00:29:24,554 Only? 732 00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:28,308 Only? 733 00:29:31,461 --> 00:29:32,521 Les. 734 00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:37,150 You only wanted to get married to join my normal family? 735 00:29:38,677 --> 00:29:42,155 Do you have any idea how small that makes me feel? 736 00:29:44,141 --> 00:29:45,367 Whoa, hey. 737 00:29:46,977 --> 00:29:48,662 Nothing's changed. 738 00:29:50,147 --> 00:29:51,698 And I love you. 739 00:29:51,732 --> 00:29:55,369 Not enough to not work 740 00:29:55,402 --> 00:29:57,454 at our rehearsal dinner, right? 741 00:29:57,487 --> 00:30:00,382 Maybe I could--maybe I could still feel my thigh. 742 00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:04,294 What happened to, "Everything that goes bad 743 00:30:04,328 --> 00:30:05,962 is good, makes for a better story"? 744 00:30:05,996 --> 00:30:10,133 Are-- We're not even doing this for real, are we? 745 00:30:10,167 --> 00:30:11,852 I don't know. Are we? 746 00:30:13,337 --> 00:30:14,971 What's happening? 747 00:30:15,005 --> 00:30:17,683 Is this maybe the drugs talking? 748 00:30:17,716 --> 00:30:21,645 Uh, maybe, maybe. But maybe not. 749 00:30:21,678 --> 00:30:22,813 Hang on. Where are you going? 750 00:30:22,846 --> 00:30:24,815 Going to my room. 751 00:30:24,848 --> 00:30:26,733 I mean, come-- Les, let's just fuck that 752 00:30:26,767 --> 00:30:28,902 traditional wedding superstition stuff. 753 00:30:28,935 --> 00:30:30,704 Well, you wanna-- you wanna fuck the wedding? 754 00:30:33,357 --> 00:30:34,658 That is not what I just said. 755 00:30:34,691 --> 00:30:36,159 But that's what you meant. 756 00:30:36,193 --> 00:30:37,377 - No. - Wait. 757 00:30:38,445 --> 00:30:39,913 What's this? 758 00:30:39,946 --> 00:30:41,832 I--come--I...I... 759 00:30:41,865 --> 00:30:45,043 "Let"-- That's your vow? "Let's do this thing"? 760 00:30:45,077 --> 00:30:46,420 Come on. I... That? 761 00:30:46,453 --> 00:30:47,838 That's--I--I'm-- 762 00:30:47,871 --> 00:30:49,005 tomorrow I'm gonna-- I wanted to be... 763 00:30:49,039 --> 00:30:50,173 I got it. I got it. 764 00:30:50,207 --> 00:30:52,008 It really is a fucking wedding. 765 00:30:52,042 --> 00:30:53,510 I understand. 766 00:30:53,543 --> 00:30:54,728 Hey, where--where-- Wait. 767 00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:59,349 Am I gonna see you tomorrow? 768 00:30:59,383 --> 00:31:00,734 Am I gonna see you tomorrow? 769 00:31:17,734 --> 00:31:18,702 Hey. 770 00:31:18,735 --> 00:31:19,795 Hey. 771 00:31:20,987 --> 00:31:22,005 Cold feet? 772 00:31:22,614 --> 00:31:23,757 Maybe. 773 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:25,792 Drink? 774 00:31:25,826 --> 00:31:27,969 - Yeah. - All right. 775 00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:35,594 I'm sorry about your arm. 776 00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:37,637 Aw, she's been waitin' 20 years 777 00:31:37,671 --> 00:31:39,022 to stab me with something. 778 00:31:39,756 --> 00:31:40,774 It's okay. 779 00:31:43,593 --> 00:31:45,320 I think this wedding was a mistake. 780 00:31:47,431 --> 00:31:49,491 The wedding or the marriage? 781 00:31:51,768 --> 00:31:53,278 I gotta say, I never thought I'd see 782 00:31:53,311 --> 00:31:56,123 my little firecracker settle down. 783 00:31:57,441 --> 00:31:58,959 But you like Les, right? 784 00:32:00,277 --> 00:32:02,621 You chose dependable over exciting. 785 00:32:02,654 --> 00:32:04,122 Is that bad? 786 00:32:04,156 --> 00:32:06,383 We don't do dependable, me and you. 787 00:32:09,786 --> 00:32:10,804 Hmm. 788 00:32:12,372 --> 00:32:13,974 I wanted normal. 789 00:32:15,292 --> 00:32:16,393 I've never had normal. 790 00:32:18,962 --> 00:32:21,097 Well... 791 00:32:21,131 --> 00:32:23,692 not-normal fueled your talent. 792 00:32:24,659 --> 00:32:28,605 Hell, you wrote a fantastic book because of it. 793 00:32:28,638 --> 00:32:30,991 Normal can kill a creative spark. 794 00:32:33,310 --> 00:32:35,662 That's why I can't write my vows maybe. 795 00:32:36,646 --> 00:32:39,166 Could be. Jeez, I should know. 796 00:32:41,401 --> 00:32:44,120 Before I met Diane, I was a lock for the majors. 797 00:32:44,154 --> 00:32:46,456 But you know the story. - Yep. 798 00:32:46,490 --> 00:32:48,792 Yeah. You got married, and then, the armoire... 799 00:32:48,825 --> 00:32:50,293 - The armoire, whatever, - ...to go... 800 00:32:50,327 --> 00:32:51,795 that dresser thing she wanted upstairs. 801 00:32:51,828 --> 00:32:53,129 Had to have it upstairs, 802 00:32:53,163 --> 00:32:55,841 and then, tore a ligament and... 803 00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:57,300 that was that. 804 00:32:57,334 --> 00:32:59,052 - Yeah. - Goodbye, baseball career. 805 00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:01,221 You really think you would've been a baseball star 806 00:33:01,254 --> 00:33:02,731 if you hadn't married Mom? 807 00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:05,442 Hm. 808 00:33:06,676 --> 00:33:08,228 After we divorced, 809 00:33:08,261 --> 00:33:10,480 I started playing down in the Mexican Pacific League. 810 00:33:10,514 --> 00:33:12,065 Everyone thought I was washed up. 811 00:33:12,098 --> 00:33:13,984 The coach was, uh, forced to sign me. 812 00:33:14,017 --> 00:33:16,695 So, yeah, he benched me game after game. 813 00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:20,207 And one day, their star player 814 00:33:21,358 --> 00:33:22,826 got injured, and coach had no choice 815 00:33:22,859 --> 00:33:24,794 but to send me in to bat. 816 00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:27,163 First pitch, swing and a miss. 817 00:33:27,197 --> 00:33:29,666 Second pitch, another whiff. 818 00:33:29,699 --> 00:33:31,835 If I blow it, I'm done. 819 00:33:31,868 --> 00:33:33,670 The next pitch, I hit that goddamn ball 820 00:33:33,703 --> 00:33:36,506 so hard it smashes out the stadium lights, 821 00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:39,676 sparks flying onto the field, crowd goes wild. 822 00:33:39,709 --> 00:33:41,678 And I knew. 823 00:33:41,711 --> 00:33:44,314 I mean, I remembered in that moment 824 00:33:45,715 --> 00:33:47,726 for great talent to thrive, 825 00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:49,778 you gotta put you first. 826 00:33:51,054 --> 00:33:52,572 You hear me, kiddo? 827 00:33:54,558 --> 00:33:57,694 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 828 00:33:57,727 --> 00:33:59,696 I'll have the car running tomorrow morning 829 00:33:59,729 --> 00:34:01,248 if you wanna make a run for it. 830 00:34:03,066 --> 00:34:04,701 We both know this isn't you. 831 00:34:04,734 --> 00:34:06,419 Peas and carrots. 832 00:34:08,071 --> 00:34:10,457 Uh, I'll be right back. I gotta see a man about a horse. 833 00:34:16,288 --> 00:34:19,549 Um, you do know that was the plot 834 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:21,434 of The Natural, right? 835 00:34:22,252 --> 00:34:24,854 Oh, yeah, Kevin. I know. 836 00:35:00,457 --> 00:35:02,726 - Are you crying? - No. 837 00:35:03,543 --> 00:35:05,729 Are you smoking? - No. 838 00:35:07,714 --> 00:35:09,316 Is it because I stabbed you? 839 00:35:09,849 --> 00:35:12,986 No. Is it 'cause you stabbed me? 840 00:35:13,803 --> 00:35:14,821 Yes. 841 00:35:18,642 --> 00:35:21,036 What did she say or what did she do? 842 00:35:23,063 --> 00:35:26,666 She was so, uh, excited. Yeah. 843 00:35:27,901 --> 00:35:29,452 Mm. 844 00:35:29,486 --> 00:35:33,048 Fear cloaked in excitement. 845 00:35:34,824 --> 00:35:37,669 And now she wants to run. 846 00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:39,129 Well, she didn't say that. 847 00:35:39,162 --> 00:35:40,180 She didn't have to. 848 00:35:41,831 --> 00:35:44,009 Lindy is like Jim, but she's more like me 849 00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:45,218 than she realizes. 850 00:35:45,251 --> 00:35:47,137 The more she loves someone, 851 00:35:47,170 --> 00:35:51,141 the more she fears they will run. 852 00:35:51,174 --> 00:35:55,311 We have the endlessly charming Jim to thank for that. 853 00:35:55,345 --> 00:35:58,815 Say what you will about me, but I stuck around. 854 00:35:58,848 --> 00:36:02,035 I know I am not easy or charming. 855 00:36:03,770 --> 00:36:07,415 And contrary to popular belief, I am not a monster. 856 00:36:08,692 --> 00:36:10,160 After Jim left... 857 00:36:13,613 --> 00:36:14,881 my heart broke. 858 00:36:16,783 --> 00:36:19,836 Yes, Mother of Ice has a heart. 859 00:36:19,869 --> 00:36:22,889 I vowed I'd never marry again. 860 00:36:24,249 --> 00:36:25,392 Then I met Walt. 861 00:36:26,543 --> 00:36:28,053 He's a good one. 862 00:36:28,086 --> 00:36:30,180 I may be the only one who sees that, 863 00:36:30,213 --> 00:36:31,931 but everyone else can fuck right off. 864 00:36:33,666 --> 00:36:35,110 Now, you, Les... 865 00:36:37,721 --> 00:36:39,406 you are one of the good ones, too. 866 00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,412 And Lindy knows it. 867 00:36:46,079 --> 00:36:50,750 And that's why she's trying so hard not to run. 868 00:36:56,322 --> 00:36:58,174 This conversation never happened. 869 00:36:59,409 --> 00:37:01,469 Diane, thank you. 870 00:37:02,170 --> 00:37:05,432 Not bad for an emotional icicle. 871 00:37:30,732 --> 00:37:31,916 Fuck. 872 00:37:53,922 --> 00:37:55,148 Oh, Daddy. 873 00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:59,319 Les [on megaphone]: Janet Reno! 874 00:38:03,681 --> 00:38:05,325 Janet Reno! 875 00:38:12,774 --> 00:38:14,876 Janet Reno! 876 00:38:15,276 --> 00:38:17,245 Oh, you're my hero. 877 00:38:17,278 --> 00:38:19,547 Let's do this thing. Whoo! 878 00:38:20,615 --> 00:38:22,383 Let's go! 879 00:38:28,456 --> 00:38:31,593 You took my fucking bullhorn! 880 00:38:31,626 --> 00:38:33,144 Kevin! 881 00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:40,935 - What did-- We end up here--? - How about... 882 00:38:43,304 --> 00:38:45,156 This is not us. It's not us. 883 00:38:49,352 --> 00:38:50,537 But is it you? 884 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:53,832 Be honest. 885 00:39:00,363 --> 00:39:01,506 Yeah. 886 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,842 I wanted to get married, to you. 887 00:39:07,161 --> 00:39:08,555 And I wanted a wedding. 888 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:15,803 I did. But you? Um... 889 00:39:15,837 --> 00:39:17,063 - Didn't. - No. 890 00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:22,477 So why did you say yes? 891 00:39:22,510 --> 00:39:24,687 Because I didn't wanna lose you. 892 00:39:24,721 --> 00:39:26,314 Or my family. 893 00:39:26,347 --> 00:39:27,649 But you see why now, right? 894 00:39:32,228 --> 00:39:33,288 I just wanted... 895 00:39:34,898 --> 00:39:38,993 was longing for some sense of... 896 00:39:39,027 --> 00:39:40,495 Normal. 897 00:39:40,528 --> 00:39:42,922 Yeah. I said I'd do 898 00:39:43,556 --> 00:39:45,925 what I had always said I wouldn't do 899 00:39:47,619 --> 00:39:49,587 'cause I didn't want you to go. 900 00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:50,722 Go? 901 00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:56,427 I am an overly educated, uh, science nerd nobody 902 00:39:56,461 --> 00:40:00,765 with--with one dumb idea 903 00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:02,517 no one gives a shit about. 904 00:40:02,550 --> 00:40:04,894 You are brilliant 905 00:40:04,928 --> 00:40:07,689 and you're gonna change the world. 906 00:40:07,722 --> 00:40:09,691 I truly believe you will. 907 00:40:09,724 --> 00:40:12,360 And I can't wrap my head around 908 00:40:12,393 --> 00:40:16,748 why you wanna stay with a dum-dum like me. 909 00:40:18,399 --> 00:40:20,752 When you tell me I can change the world, then I believe it. 910 00:40:24,072 --> 00:40:25,623 And there is nothing I want more 911 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,208 than to be with a dum-dum like you 912 00:40:27,241 --> 00:40:28,426 forever. 913 00:40:29,577 --> 00:40:30,845 Fuck the paperwork. 914 00:40:31,312 --> 00:40:32,180 But you want the paperwork. 915 00:40:32,213 --> 00:40:35,141 But you don't. You don't. So fuck it. 916 00:40:38,419 --> 00:40:41,439 But you saying fuck it really makes me fucking happy, though. 917 00:40:42,507 --> 00:40:44,108 I fucking love you. 918 00:40:46,260 --> 00:40:47,654 I fucking love you. 919 00:40:53,935 --> 00:40:56,371 But now, I just wanna un-fuck it and just get married. 920 00:40:57,647 --> 00:41:01,075 Wow. What, fucking for real? 921 00:41:01,109 --> 00:41:03,503 But for us, like our... 922 00:41:04,137 --> 00:41:06,122 our thing. Our... - Yeah. 923 00:41:06,155 --> 00:41:08,166 ...our normal. Our version. 924 00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:10,335 And--and no drama. 925 00:41:10,368 --> 00:41:11,419 - Yes. No violence... - No. 926 00:41:11,452 --> 00:41:13,171 - ...no police. - No family. 927 00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:14,305 No. 928 00:41:19,127 --> 00:41:20,895 And I know a perfect place. 929 00:41:23,297 --> 00:41:24,265 The gray house. 930 00:41:24,298 --> 00:41:25,316 The gray house. 931 00:41:40,398 --> 00:41:42,000 The secret? 932 00:41:42,984 --> 00:41:44,419 Not having a wedding. 933 00:41:46,362 --> 00:41:47,880 Having two. 934 00:41:48,247 --> 00:41:51,175 Diane, don't make me come over there. 935 00:41:55,163 --> 00:41:57,882 I, Les Littlejohn, 936 00:41:57,915 --> 00:41:59,801 do not take you, 937 00:41:59,834 --> 00:42:02,637 Lindy McMichael, to be my wedded wife. 938 00:42:02,670 --> 00:42:04,806 And I, Lindy McMichael, 939 00:42:04,839 --> 00:42:09,143 do not take you, Les Littlejohn, to be my wedded husband. 940 00:42:09,177 --> 00:42:10,395 Not? 941 00:42:10,428 --> 00:42:11,813 - Never. - Never, ever. 942 00:42:11,846 --> 00:42:13,147 You are signing the papers, yes? 943 00:42:13,181 --> 00:42:14,982 - Yes. - Yeah. 944 00:42:15,016 --> 00:42:18,152 Okay. Well, I now pronounce you 945 00:42:18,186 --> 00:42:19,737 not husband and wife.